Happy 2022!

So, are you New Year’s Resolutions kind of a person, or a Word of the Year kind of a person.

I scrapped the whole resolutions things years ago and have recently being picking a word that I focus on throughout the year (this year it’s strength, in case you’re interested).

But I also am focussing on another word for this year. It’s a tiny word, but it can mean so much, it can do so much. It’s a loaded word and people take its meaning in a variety of ways.

It's the word NO.

Why no? 

Because I am a people pleaser. Because I say yes way too often. I say yes without even thinking.

I have been programmed at a young age to make the people around me happy, to make them comfortable, to make them feel good about themselves. And that doesn’t serve me at all.

And you know what, it doesn’t serve them either. If I’m just their yes-girl, then I’m just blowing smoke. I am not being truthful and I’m not assisting them when what they need is honesty and transparency.

I’ve always been in awe of people that can say no so easily. Like, some of them don’t even give a reason! If I was ever saying no I had a list of excuses a mile long. And I usually apologized 18 times while saying no. And honestly, I likely didn’t even explicitly say no, I probably just danced around the word a bit and left everyone confused about what my answer was and feeling super awkward.

No more.

Over the last few months I’ve been exploring my people pleasing tendencies, and why I always need to make other people more comfortable than myself. What it is that makes me always put everyone else’s needs way above my own. And I’m not just talking about letting my kids have the last of the ice cream. I’m talking about major career decisions, financial decisions, etc. It’s been eye opening.

So the main reason I am saying no more this year, is so that I can say yes.

• Yes to how I want to spend my time, and who I want to spend it with.
• Yes to who I want to work with and how I want to work.
• Yes to where I want to spend my time.
• Yes to my desires.
• Yes to my dreams.

See, I want to make some changes in my life. I’ve realized that my priorities have been, well, a bit ‘off’ these days. I’m not truly living the life I want to be living. And in order to welcome the life I DO want to live, I need to say ‘no thanks’ to plenty of bad habits, lifestyle choices, and past decisions that have gotten me where I am now.

Simply put, saying no to some things allows me space to say yes to the things I really want. Things that light me up. Things that lead me to my dream life.

So how am I going to put this beautiful little two letter word into use?

I have some pretty clear goals for 2022 - some are financial, some are health, some are travel and recreation. And when someone asks me to do something (or when I get distracted by a shiny object and get steered off course) the first thing I am going to ask is - does this get me closer to my goals? If the answer isn’t a resounding yes, then I’m going to give it a solid no. 

Simple.

But I don’t think it’ll be easy.

Will you do this with me?

So I’m asking you - are you saying no often enough? Are you saying yes to the right things?